How to plan a baby shower

Planning a baby shower should be one of the happier jobs on the to-do list, and with a little structure it genuinely is. This guide walks through the decisions in the order you will meet them, from setting the date to the running order on the day itself.

When should you hold a baby shower?

Most baby showers in the UK take place when the parent-to-be is between 28 and 34 weeks pregnant. That window is late enough for the bump to be celebrated and the nursery plans to be real, but early enough that the guest of honour is still comfortable and the date is unlikely to be overtaken by events. If the parents are expecting twins, or there is any chance of an early arrival, aim for the earlier end of that range.

Weekend afternoons are the most popular slot. A two to three hour gathering starting between 1pm and 3pm suits most groups, leaves the evening free, and matches the afternoon tea format many venues offer.

Who organises it?

Traditionally a close friend, sister or mother of the parent-to-be hosts, and that is still the most common arrangement. These days it is also entirely normal for parents to organise their own shower, especially if they have a clear idea of the venue and guest list. Whoever hosts, agree early on who is paying for what, since that shapes every other decision.

Set a budget

A simple way to budget is per head. A relaxed shower with a private room and an afternoon tea or buffet typically costs between £15 and £35 per guest at the venue, plus whatever you choose to spend on decorations, a cake and favours. For 20 guests that puts a realistic overall budget between £400 and £900. Hiring a blank canvas space and bringing your own catering can come in lower, but allow for the extra effort involved.

Choose the venue

The venue sets the tone more than any other decision. The styles that work best for showers are tea rooms and restaurants with private dining, hotels with function rooms and parking, garden and marquee venues in the warmer months, and bright blank canvas spaces if you want to style the room around a theme. For a fuller comparison, see our guide to baby shower venue ideas.

When you enquire, ask three practical questions: whether you can have the room privately, how early you can get in to decorate, and what the per-person catering includes. Venues used to hosting showers will answer all three without hesitation.

The guest list and invitations

Most showers are between 10 and 30 guests. Agree the list with the parent-to-be unless the event is a genuine surprise, and send invitations four to six weeks ahead so people can plan. A group message or a free online invitation is perfectly acceptable; printed invitations are a lovely touch but by no means expected. For help with numbers, see how many guests should you invite.

Second or later babies: the sprinkle

A baby sprinkle is simply a smaller, lighter shower for a second or later baby, typically 10 to 20 guests rather than a full guest list. The etiquette relaxes with the size: gifts lean practical (nappies, books, a contribution towards something the family actually needs) rather than the full registry, and it is perfectly acceptable for the parents to host it themselves. Everything in this guide applies; just scale it down, and choose a venue's smaller private room or a corner of a tea room rather than a function suite.

Food and drink

Afternoon tea is the classic shower format for good reason: it is generous, looks beautiful on the table and suits a daytime gathering. Buffets and grazing tables work equally well, particularly for larger or mixed groups. Make sure there is a good spread of soft drinks, and consider a mocktail or two so the guest of honour has something celebratory in hand. Check dietary requirements when guests RSVP and pass them to the venue in good time.

Games, or not

Games are entirely optional. If your group enjoys them, two or three short ones spaced through the afternoon is plenty: a baby photo guessing game, predictions for the baby's arrival date and weight, or a quick quiz about the parents all work well. If games are not the group's style, a memory book or advice cards for the parents give guests something to contribute without any performance.

A simple running order

• Arrival drinks and mingling: 30 minutes
• Food served: 45 to 60 minutes
• A game or two, if you are having them: 30 minutes
• Gift opening, if the parent wants to open them on the day: 30 minutes
• Cake, thank-yous and farewells: 30 minutes

Two and a half hours covers all of that comfortably. Keep the structure loose; the best showers feel like a lovely afternoon with friends, not a schedule.

The week before

Confirm final numbers and dietary requirements with the venue, collect anything you have ordered (cake, balloons, favours), and agree who is arriving early to decorate. On the day itself, give yourself at least an hour in the room before guests arrive. That is usually all it takes for everything to feel calm.